This just in....

So I've been thinking about the POC identities, such as they are, and I've found I'm in danger of steriotyping the people in this house. I don't want to give the wrong impression---the people that inhabit this casa defy description. It's really given my literary skills a stretch to get them down on paper. Don't think reading this blog is tantamount to getting to know them. Come to our house and play for a while, and you'll see that I'm really just stumbling around and occasionally hit on a nugget of truth that may be funny. To be completely honest, they astound me every day with their unwavering faith, their honesty, and their love for anyone that darkens their doorway.
Don't get me wrong. We're all crazy.
But there's different kinds of crazy, and I think the POC et al may be the best kind.
Also, I'd like to issue a retraction on the post I made for the animals a few weeks ago. Buddy is not a pothead (OW! I said it! Leggo my arm, Lisa!). Buddy is a sweet doggie, but probably the most laid-back creature in this house. Really, it astonishes me. I wish we could bottle whatever it is he's got and use it for ourselves.

News Items:

• Mollie's pica disorder (look it up) is continuing at an unflagging pace. I sincerely hope she doesn't get her jaws on anything lethal. As it is, my cat's food seems to be the most delicious thing in the world to her, and my room is her FRIGGIN' SNACK BAR! AGH!
• Buddy has gotten out several times in the last week. It's getting a little nerve-racking. Seriously. Anyone know how to dog-proof a back yard?
• There was a "Tea Party" in Burleson Wednesday night. When Tonya and Lisa said "tea party" I was thinking, "Oh yay, cute old ladies in big floppy hats with crumpets." Yeah. Didn't know they meant more along the lines of THE BOSTON TEA PARTY! Taxation without representation, encouragement of government freeloading, and elimination of freedoms; these are all things that should be addressed. But I gotta say, all the confederate flags I saw and the "general lee" car horn that played Dixie Land made me a little uneasy. So did the story I heard about a law enforcement helicopter hovering over the area. Ever notice how many political rallies are perfectly peaceful until the po'po' show up? This one was perfectly benign, but people seemed kind of....twitchy.
• Michael is apparently suffering from zombie-death related to fatigue. What is wrong with you people? Sleep is your friend! It's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Don't fight it! Embrace the sleepy!
  
• I still think curling up on the trampoline wrapped up in a duvet would be the most nirvanic experience possible on this earth. Anyone want to have a duvampoline party? Let me know.
• Poor Corrie is apparently becoming weary of the extensive drive to and from work. Anyone know of a chauffer that wants to do some pro-bono driving?
• SCARBOROUGH FAIRE IS HERE! YAAAAAAY! For those of you who don't know, I am a massive dork that enjoys dressing up in costume and attending Rennaissance Festivals. if you want to come along, I've probably got stuff you can wear. I'm determined to get Lisa into either court wear or a gypsy costume, cause that amount of cute might just fix the hole in the ozone layer. Come play! It's fun, low-fat, and good for the environment.
• I got an e-mail tonight regarding a class-action lawsuit that was filed against Saturn on behalf of the owners of several vehicle transmissions, including mine! For those of you who don't know, I just had to spend upwards of $4000 on my car's transmission. Before you ask, that price is not a typo and I was not rooked. The transmission alone was almost $1500. Apparently, GM is no longer producing Saturns because of transmission defects, and I qualify to recieve a portion of my costs back. It may even be enough to pay off my poor blue baby and get a car that will actually get me to and fro.
• Laura is still here. We're very happy about that, but we know it can't last forever. Anyone who has ideas to sabotage her moving out, e-mail me at efergusonlvn@yahoo.com

I think that's all the news I have for today. I confess to not feeling very funny right now, due to several different stressors happening right now. But bed is always good. My mattress is stuffed with the down of virtuous geese, my sheets are woven from threads of awesome, and my pillows come straight from the Willy Wonka marshmallow division. Also, my cats have been specially trained to find misaligned and damaged areas on my body and curl up on top of or next to them to work as hot water bottles. When I turn my box fan on, I am basically in a perfect universe.
Okay, done now. Sorry for the utilitarian nature of the post. Next one will be about monkeys and electric toothbrushes set to Liza Minelli singing "Life is A Cabaret."
Over and out!